It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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