ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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