I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
