There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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