I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
