dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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