i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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