i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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