Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
