I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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