can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
