She is in my trunk
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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