You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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