I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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