Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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