Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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