the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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