I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
one might say we're banned from that church
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
