Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I believe in your delicious
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
