i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
