Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
