You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
