i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
