I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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