Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
