found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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