Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
