dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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