Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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