remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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