I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
