I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
