I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
