We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
