I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize