He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
In other news, I just burned my penis
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
