it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize