I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
