That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How external is "for external use only"?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize