At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Drake has all the answers
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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