Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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