he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
