420 ftw
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
