I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
