super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
