I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
God, I missed his penis.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
