My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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