Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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