I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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