It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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