I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
