Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
