You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
