Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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