You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
