I feel like abortions should bother me more
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
