he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
