Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize