Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
