Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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