you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
