saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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