and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She bit a glass in half.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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