i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Randomize
