Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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